wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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