White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
