Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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