Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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