Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
