I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
