Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
