true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
