Can i not drive my cunt home
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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