Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
