So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize