Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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