when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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