Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
