I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
