he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
