just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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