nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's the barista slut.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
