someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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