are you so shy because you have an std?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
