he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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