yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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