I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
