I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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