i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
