Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize