Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize