i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
