we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
