Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
