3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
