How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
