Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
