Yo dont text me then not text me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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