Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
