He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
