Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
