you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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