Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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