He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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