My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize