what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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