My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize