Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
