I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
