there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I will pee on everything he values.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize