I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
