Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
