Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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