It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
