I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
