dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
