I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
