She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is it because I queefed?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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