you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
