I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
