1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
