Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
